Swag Attacks and Wall Flowers

Today I'm in a writing mood. Also let it be known that I coined the phrase swag attack, so if you hear it nowhere else you heard it from me first.

Today I am mostly inspired by last nights events, yes my friends, another party. Now, I don't use my waking moments as an opportunity to sweat out my hair and shake my derrière, but I do enjoy activities of the sort (minus sweating out the hair). After all, it's fun, requires almost no mental operation and its super social. But, I've realized there are three types of people: those who party, the wall flowers and those who have swag attacks.

Each and every party I go to, I'm forced to wonder who would come to a party to just stand around? Can we say high school dance, 9th grade, in the cafeteria? And not only do these people stand around, they occupy a lot of space. They can never stand alone either, its as if there was a congregational rule that says : if you must post up, never post alone. And if you haven't noticed, because I have, these are the ultimate spectators. It makes me laugh to to think they left the house with intentions to party, told all their friends their whereabouts, never really partied, and came home to say the party cracked.

Which leads me to the next question: Do these people really deserve to to have an opinion about the party even though they only contributed to the population and not the fun? I must, however, give much credit to the person standing to my left having the swag attack of his life.

In case you were not aware, a swag attack is when a male or female (usually a male), has become the life of the party in his/her own mind. Such symptoms include singing all the words to the song as if they were in a recording studio, knowing all the ad libs, hand gestures, a variety of engaging facial expressions, a crowd performance and a suave two-step. This is when I start to think I might be in music video, real life wouldn't do this to me. But then again, life just did.

I do love swag attacks, though. One thing the wall flowers are good for is company during down time as I watch those suffering from a swag attack. So, once again, pour the swag attackees a drink, post up with the posted and wait for the party to crack.

*random photo courtesy of googling thug party.